Trump says fallen soldier "Knew what He signed up for"

I've never served in the military. However, like all Americans, I admire the people who are willing to put their lives on the line to protect our country & the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. 
If we go back to our origins as a species, Human groups have always relied on one another for protection. Then we went from "loose and unstable warrior castes" to a "standing army":
http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/gabrmetz/gabr0002.htm%2Borigin+of+armies&client=safari&rls=en&hl=en&ct=clnk

"The development of central state institutions and a supporting administrative apparatus inevitably gave form and stability to military structures. The result was the expansion and stabilization of the formerly loose and unstable warrior castes that first emerged in the tribal societies of the fifth millennium. By 2700 B.C. in Sumer there was a fully articulated military structure and standing army organized along modern lines. The standing army emerged as a permanent part of the social structure and was endowed with strong claims to social legitimacy. And it has been with us ever since."

And now, according to this "Slate" article, it appears here in the United States, we are back to a sort of "warrior caste" fighting our wars:
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2017/08/the_warrior_caste_of_military_families_that_fight_america_s_wars.html
'When the new White House chief of staff, then a Marine general, John Kelly received a knock on the door in November 2010, he became the highest-ranking military officer to lose a child in combat. In addition to his son Robert, killed by a landmine in Afghanistan in 2010, his other son is also an active-duty Marine. The Kellys’ legacy of service is not unusual among military families. This type of lineage has led to generations of flag officers, fathers and sons who reunite while deployed, and families who bear the loss of a war America has forgotten we are fighting.'

'While at first glance this makes sense—children are likely to follow in their siblings’ and parents’ footsteps—it’s a remarkable gut check when you look at the past 15 years of war. The military draws many recruits from the same communities and the same families, isolating those in uniform from society and vice versa. In essence, the self-selection dynamics have created a “warrior caste.”'

With that in mind (as far as so few of us willing to join the U.S. Armed Forces), it's rather depressing the way the events surrounding the four fallen soldiers in Niger have unfolded, culminating in this headline from the NYTimes:

"Trump Told a Soldier’s Widow Her Husband ‘Knew What He Signed Up For,’ His Mother Says"

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/18/us/politics/trump-widow-johnson-call.html

"WASHINGTON — The mother of a soldier killed in an ambush in Nigersaid Wednesday that President Trump disrespected her family during a call with the man’s widow by saying the soldier “knew what he signed up for.”

President Trump denied he said those words to Sgt. La David T. Johnson’s wife during a Tuesday phone call and escalated his dispute with Representative Frederica Wilson, Democrat of Florida, who first described the exchange on Tuesday."

Sgt. La David T. Johnson sacrificed so much for our country; he can't even have an open-casket funeral. Yet Trump was not able to deliver a call to his family that could clearly be interpreted as respectful at the very least. 

Also, today there are reports Trump offered $25,000 to the family of a soldier killed in Afghanistan in June during a phone call, but he never sent the money.  
But then, as soon as The Washington Post first reported the story, Trump finally sent the check: 

"Trump sends $25,000 check to fallen soldier's family on same day as Washington Post report"

http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/18/politics/donald-trump-personal-check-soldier/index.html

I wouldn't know what to say to the grieving family of a fallen soldier, or how to help them. Money would help somewhat I would think, due to all the costs associated with someone's death which what I think Trump was thinking when he offered the $25,000, but then he never sent the check!

But if you're not helping a family financially, sometimes the less you say, the better. A hug can mean much more than words if you're inarticulate in those situations (like Trump apparently is). But I'm not the president of the United States. Therefore, I don't have to worry about the great burden of sending soldiers to war & dealing with the consequences when they are killed. 

Tonight, Rachel Maddow showed the letter president Abraham Lincoln sent to the family of a soldier killed during the Civil War. One hundred and fifty five years later, with everything our country has been through, we should have a president who can do that horrible part of the job in a capable manner at the very least.

"Read Abraham Lincoln’s emotional letter consoling the family of a fallen soldier — sent days after his son died"

https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/read-abraham-lincolns-emotional-letter-consoling-the-family-of-a-fallen-soldier-sent-days-after-his-son-died/